Crazy neighbor from hell

I'm one week behind on my reading of What we Ache for. I've been busy dealing with a neighbor from hell. She lives next door to me and is one of those busy bodies. She stays home all of the time because she's a real estate agent with no houses to sell-so she drives around the neighborhood looking for code violations such as parking on the streets, wrong color blinds, etc. and call the Home Owners Association about it. She was calling the police about parking on the streets but the city police won't take her calls anymore because they told her they have better things to do. Lately she's been calling county animal control on my cats. She says my cats are putting scratches on her car. I told that bitch to park her car in the garage like everyone else. She says she shouldn't have to. But everyone knows it's because she's such a slob that her garage is filled with trash that she can't even fit a lamp into it. She lay some traps out and well it didn't catch my guys, besides all of my guys are up to date on shots and rabies. Plus there are no leash laws on cats. They're free to roam. She wanted the animal control officer to write me a ticket when he came out for the complaint. He said he couldn't because she had no proof. So she gets mad and calls his superior. The chief Marshall that's in charge of Animal Control told me that she has to have a picture of my cat scratching her car. Not sitting on her car, but nails out scratching it. Otherwise, stop whining. What a psychopath! My other neighbor told her the other day to do everyone in the neighborhood a favor and move out because no body likes you here! That's how bad she is. If her house wasn't attach to mine, I'd egg it or something. Maybe she'll have a heart attack and die. Maybe it'll happen tonight. Maybe she'll get lost and forget to come home. Better yet, maybe she'll fall into a hole and is never seen or heard from again. That will be my prayer. I'm writing a story about her for Ellery Queen. In the story, she dies and I'm accused of murdering her-I'm going to make sure she dies slowly and painfully-but it turns out to be another person. Then I'm going to send it to her and laugh about it....